Growing Closer to God as a Couple
Growing Closer to God as a Couple-a Catholic perspective
Is growing closer to God as a couple something you and your spouse have talked about doing? Do you struggle with knowing how or where to begin? Maybe you have you tried for a while and then stopped. Have you had moments when things were going great in this area of your relationship, and then suddenly they weren’t? If so, you are not alone.
Spiritual growth in marriage can be challenging, but don’t give up! You’ve probably heard the phrase that goes, anything worth having is worth fighting for. Growing together spiritually as a couple is definately worth fighting for.
Here are some steps you and your spouse can take to grow in faith as a couple.
Talk about what you want your faith as a couple to be like.
You both know that you want to grow in faith together, but what does that actually mean?
Here are some questions to reflect on and talk about together:
What does a strong faith life as a couple look like to each of you?
What goals do you each have for your spiritual life as a couple?
What outcomes do you want to see happen in your spiritual life together?
Your ideal spiritual life together may look like a strong bond from God between you two that cannot be shaken no matter what happens. It may look like an openness to God and to each other that brings you closer as a couple. A strong couple spiritual life may look like knowing you are covered in prayer by your spouse at all times.
Taking the time to talk about your expectations, thoughts, and desires is the first step to growing spiritually with your spouse. When you do this, you will each know what the other is thinking and what you each want your spiritual life to look like.
Once you understand each other’s goals and desires, you can decide together what concrete things you can do to grow closer to God as a couple.
If you have not thought about what you each want your spiritual life together to look like, take the time to pray about it together. Ask God to help you both the see what ideas and plans He has for you. He will give you the insights to know how to strengthen and grow in your spiritual life as a couple. God wants unity for couples. He will be happy to help you out!
Decide how you will grow in faith as a couple.
Now that you both understand the spiritual unity and growth you want to have as a couple, from here, you can decide together what specific things to do to accomplish this.
Growing in faith together may look like going to Mass as a family every weekend and then talking about the readings afterward. It may look like reading the Bible or a book on apologetics together once a week or more and discussing it. It may look like taking a walk by yourselves daily or weekly to pray together. It may look like praying a Rosary together for your marriage and your family. You may desire to spend time together praying before the Blessed Sacrament together. The post How to “Pray About It” may give you some more ideas.
If you feel at a loss of where to begin, look back on your married life. During the times when you were growing in your faith life together, what were you doing to accomplish that? Try it again. You can also ask your friends what they do to grow spiritually in their marriage. It may spark some ideas for you.
Also, don’t forget to pray about this, too! God will give you an idea.
Some resources that may be helpful: Three to Get Married by The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by
Make a plan. Implement your plan. Schedule time for reevaluation.
Now that you and your spouse know what you want to do to grow closer to God as a couple, do it. Decide if you will do this every day, once a week, or once a month. Put it on the calendar so you don’t forget. Start developing a routine that you will look forward to and stick with.
It may take some trial and error to find what works best for you and what time may be best. It is okay to make changes. In fact, planning time every now and again to evaluate how things are going is a good idea.
If the first spiritual practice you try doesn’t seem to be working the way you intended, take the time to evaluate what is going on. Are you not setting aside enough time for it? Do you need to find a different place to be for it? Do you need to find a different time due to interruptions or being too tired? Is the practice you chose just not the right fit for you two?
If you need to make changes, make changes. This is not a failure or a setback. Remember, your goal is to grow together spiritually as a couple. You two may need to try a few different things before finding what works best for you. Also, as your children grow or your schedules change, you may need to adapt and alter what you do. This is part of growing and evolving in our relationship with each other and with God.
You as a couple are unique. Don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to other couples and what they do. It may be helpful to look to them for inspiration, but don’t compare yourself to others. What works for them may not work for you. We are not carbon copies of each other!
Taking the time to reevaluate your spiritual life as a couple every so often will help you to make sure you are actually growing together. If you feel the need to, don’t be afraid to try something different.
Growing closer to God as a couple is worthwhile.
The importance of God in our marriage relationship cannot be undervalued. As individuals, we each have a unique relationship with God. As a couple, our relationship with Him will look different than it looks for each of us individually.
God’s plan for marriage is for each spouse to help the other get to Heaven. You and your spouse can ask yourselves: How can we work together to accomplish this aspect of our vocation?
What do you plan to keep doing or start doing as a couple to grow closer to God?