You can renew your vows every day in the way you chose to love and be loved by your spouse.
Did you know that each day you have the opportunity to renew your marriage vows? Each day you can choose to love and sacrifice for the sake of your husband and for the sake of your relationship.
You may not always make the choice to be loving, though, and sometimes chose to be selfish instead. As humans, our fallen nature can steer us wrong sometimes! But, you can start again each day to be the loving wife and mother God has called you to be.
Here are ways to help keep our vows in mind more as you live out your Sacrament of Marriage.
What intentions and vows did I say?
Do you wonder that sometimes, thinking back on your wedding day? Yes, you said your vows and meant every word, but you may not necessarily remember every word you said. I know I don’t.
It is good from time to time to review. Here are the intentions stated and vows exchanged at a Catholic wedding.
The intentions you said “yes” to when asked them by the priest or deacon:
Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife for the rest of your lives?
Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the laws of Christ and His Church?
I (state your name) take you (state name of bride/groom) to be my (wife/husband).
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Exchange of rings:
(Name of bride/groom), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Important note: There are a few different wording options for intentions and for vows, so yours may not be exactly the same ones as are written here. You can find other options at Catholic Wedding Help.
Blessings bestowed on us.
Do you remember the blessings the priest or deacon said when you exchanged your vows and rings? They are very beautiful.
Blessing after the exchange of vows:
May the Lord in His goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with His blessings.
Blessing before the exchange of rings:
Lord, bless these rings. Grant that those who wear them always have deep faith in each other. May they do Your will and always live together in peace, goodwill, and love. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.
Important note: There are a few different options for the blessing of the rings as well, so your priest or deacon may not have used the exact blessings mentioned here. You can find other options at Catholic Wedding Help.No Fields Found.
Live out your intentions, vows, and blessings each day.
So, now that you have reviewed your intentions, the vows you said, and the blessings bestowed upon you and your husband, you can look at how you can be true to them every day.
Live out your intentions each day.
As a bride and groom, you were each asked if you came “freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage.” Each day you have that same freedom to give yourself and your love to your spouse (and children). You are free to choose to love, to give hugs, to help even when you are tired, to say, “I love you” as you look into the eyes of your husband.
You can choose to “love and honor each other as husband and wife” today; you can make the choice to love and honor by being kind and loving instead of angry or rude. This is easier to do when you think of your spouse’s good qualities (instead of your own aggravations) when you are tempted to give in to frustration and say words you may later regret.
How can you “accept (your) children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the laws of Christ and His Church,” today, especially when you are sleep deprived or one of them is sick? Again, it comes down to choosing to love: to be kind and to give of yourself instead of being rude, unkind, or selfish. It is not only what you do that shows love, but the attitude that you have when you do it.
Reading a story, folding clothes for someone when they can do it themselves, cleaning up a spill without complaining, or doing a little extra something all speak love to those around us.
Live out your vows each day.
There is a story about a couple who went to marriage counseling. After hearing the couple tell him how things were going between them, their counselor said, “it sounds like it is really bad right now.” “Oh, yes! It is bad,” the couple agreed. Then he reminded them of their vows: “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad.” They were currently going through a “bad” time in their marriage. In their vows, they promised to be good to each other during those times.
This serves as a reminder of two things. 1-Relationships can work in a cycle: sometimes there are “good times” and other times there are “bad times.” You don’t experience only one or the other all of the time. 2-The bad times do pass; you need to work as a couple to get past them. You also work together to have more good times than bad times. It can be hard work sometimes, but it is certainly worth it!
“In sickness and in health” is a reminder that you need to appreciate each day. No one knows how long you will have together or what your health will be like. Being greatful for each day and living each day with gratitude in your heart shows God how much you appreciate Him and all He does for you and your family.
“I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” When you do not feel in our hearts that you want to love or honor your spouse, you can remember two things: 1-you can freely choose to love and honor even when you don’t feel like it and 2-how in love you were on our wedding day as you and your husband said your vows and how much you meant them in your hearts.
Hold on to that love and commitment when times are tough. Enjoy it when times are good. Be greatful for your marriage and the opportunity you have to choose each day to love.
Live out your blessings each day.
The blessings you two received serve as a reminder that God is part of your Sacrament. There are not two in your marriage, but three: God, your husband, and yourself.
In the blessings you two received, God was asked to “strengthen your consent and fill you both with His blessings.” That is so amazing: to have your consent strengthened by God Himself! Wow. That is supernatural power that you need to thank God for and ask Him to help you both to use wisely.
The blessing before the exchange of rings is also very significant: “Lord, bless these rings. Grant that those who wear them always have deep faith in each other. May they do Your will and always live together in peace, goodwill, and love. We ask this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.”
Jesus says in John 14:13: “and whatever you ask in my name I will do, so as to glorify the Father in the Son.” So, when the priest or deacon asked for these specific blessings on you both in Jesus’ name, that was very powerful.
As humans, we are called to cooperate with God, not sit back and expect Him to do everything. So, while you have this beautiful blessing upon you in the Sacrament of Marriage, you need to do your part to live it out.
You can call on God to help you to “always have deep faith in each other,” to do God’s “will and always live together in peace, goodwill, and love.” It may sound like a tall order, especially on some days, but this is you are called to do. Besides being a blessing, this is a commissioning to live your married life together in unity.
Additional points to help you to renew your vows each day in the way you live your life.
Ask God for the grace to live your vocation well. Jesus instituted marriage as a Sacrament. He wants His people to live with love and joy. Ask Him to help you to live your marriage vows well. He will help you.
Living a life together is not always easy! When you keep our vows in mind, you remember that you have good times and bad times, sickness and health. Work to get back to the good times, but don’t be too discouraged during the bad times. Just keep working together to get back to the good times.
Keep your vows written where you can read them. On retreat, a priest mentioned that married couples should frame their vows and place them in their bedroom so they will see them every day. This is a way to always keep them at the forefront of your minds.
Renew your vows every day by choosing to love and to be loved.